I just slept the whole day... When I'm sleeping I think I'm a little bit "dead", because I don't realize something in the "real world".. I'd rather live in my dreams.. Far, far away from reality. Just me & my fantasy.
My deathwish gettin' stronger & stronger.. At the moment wish I were dead... No, that's not true.
I wish I had never been born..
When I had never been born, no one would know me. No one would be worried about me.
I wouldn't left someone behind, as if I kill myself right now..
I can't kill myself.. I can't ...
Not because I'm afraid... I'm not afraid of MY own death.. but other people are..
They are afraid of the day when they hear that I've killed myself.. Some people already told me their fears...
I don't want them to feel this way....
I torture myself to make other people happy...
Somehow .. It's stupid, isn't it?
I should be selfish... But I can't... I love them too much...
But the person who I loved & always love the most is already dead..
Actually ... No one keeps me REALLY here.. Here in life...
I can't & don't want to live anymore.. But I also can't kill myself.. Paradox & stupid.
... you need s1 who can help you.. :( i only can read your posts and write comments...but i hope it helps a lil bit when you see that people read your stuff and try to understand u.. and i really try.. and sometimes i can
AntwortenLöschen